Tuesday, July 31, 2007

So Where Have I Been?

When I started this blog, I had hoped that my journey from fantasy to reality would be at warp speed. Should have known that wasn't going to happen! But, after all, I had married a spanko who I met online in a spanking community, so it was a natural assumption. How was I to know he was going to turn in to a vanilla? The answer to our vows should have been 'I did, but not anymore!' I found one of those men who has (actually, had) no problem tanning the backside of a friend but can't bring himself to hurt the woman he loves. He didn't like the idea of 'punishing' me. Just my luck. I did my best to convince him that by not 'hurting' me, he was really hurting me. I hinted, I bratted, I pouted, I sulked - I even came right out and asked for it! That would work - that one time. Then I got tired of asking. After all, this is not The Love Boat, my name is not Julie, and I am not the freakin' cruise director! So I gave up for a while. I guess that was about the time I stopped updating this blog - about two years ago. We would engage in the usual erotic foreplay spanking. Not complaining, mind you - that was better than nothing. But I'm one of those people who craves the authority figure - the big strong man who will protect you and save you from yourself. The one who will spank the crank out of you when you're spinning out of control. The one who will make you feel safe and secure and cared for.
So for a while I backed off and decided to let it go. And I kind of have for the last couple of years. Oh, I've bratted once in a while to push him far enough to flip me over and redden my butt. But not once was it not followed by sex - so back to foreplay.
Now recently I have started a yahoo spanking community. It is, of course, related to spanked wives. It's actually a revival of the one we met on when it was on MSN until they kicked out all the adult groups and sent us to Siberia, otherwise known as World Groups. Awful place unless you happen to like ads for porn popping up at you all over the place. Anyway, he knows I have restarted the group and has watched the progress of it with me over the last week, and it is doing fairly well. Then I got to thinking (always a dangerous thing).
What I thought of was a letter. Carefully worded, designed to nudge him towards what I was hoping for without scaring him off. I seem to be able to make myself understood better in writing. The following is what I came up with -

Hi honey,

I’ve been thinking that I can’t really run a website for spanked wives when I am not one. Sounds a little hypocritical, don’t you think? So since we have talked about this many times and gotten nowhere, I decided that I am literally going to spell it out for you. I have a proposal for you – a chance for you to put your money where your mouth is, or put your hand where my butt is, so to speak. I’m going to top from the bottom for now, big time. Interested?

Ok, here’s what I propose. In order to get you used to spanking me, and get my bottom used to being spanked, I want this week to be a crash course. Starting tonight, I want you to spank me every evening. It sounds like a lot, but I think they should be fairly short, maybe five minutes max, starting out easy with your hand to warm me up and then progressing in speed and force, and changing part way through to the implement of your choice (no canes yet though!). By the time you are done, I want to have a thoroughly hot spanked bottom. Remember, ‘stop’ does not mean stop. ‘You can’t make me’ doesn’t mean you can’t make me. Trying to get away does not mean I want to get away. If I put back a hand to protect my bottom, it does not mean stop. It means you might need to pin my hand behind my back to keep it out of the way. We have a safe word and I know how to use it.

I also want you to take control of the mindset of the situation. Talk to me, scold me, tell me I’ve been naughty, tell me what to do, tell me what you are going to do. This may all sound like a lot to start, but there are parts of my fantasies that I need to live out. If we are out shopping this week and I start to put something we don’t really need in the cart, I want to hear whispered in my ear, ‘If you buy that, young lady, I am going to paddle your bottom when we get home’. Then in the car on the way home, I need to hear ‘You do realize you have a spanking coming when we get home, don’t you?’ And when we get home, follow through! If you want me to stand in the corner with my bottom on display either before or after a spanking, say so. Also as part of the mindset, I think I should be expected to refer to you as Sir during a spanking (or Daddy, or Uncle, or anything else you prefer). In case you haven’t noticed, authority figures really make me tingle!

So the scenario I am suggesting is this – every night this week, I would like you to initiate a spanking, maybe by telling me it is time for one, or by sending me to fetch a particular implement and bring it to you. Then I would like you to be the one to bare my bottom and direct me in to the position of your choice – over your knee, over a stool, etc. I will probably be most cooperative up to this point – once the spanking starts, I can’t guarantee anything. Resistance is part of the spankee mindset, but it should be futile. It can be in any room – but if you choose the bedroom, I DO NOT want it to be foreplay as this is not about sex right now. This is about getting a few of my fantasies worked out, and getting you to feel more comfortable about asserting your authority and to get you to stop worrying about hurting me. It’s about eventually increasing the spontaneity of our spanking life. Need I remind you again about where we met? I think we just need to start this somewhere and then, as we get more comfortable, we can work on making it something we are both happy with and making sure we both get what we need from each other. After all, turn about is fair play.

There you go. You always say you indulge me. I’m hoping you will indulge me in this. Think of it this way – you can indulge me with the added benefit of not spoiling me – and it’s easier on the wallet! I’m tired of only reading about the things I want to experience. The internet is a poor substitute for a warm bottom. And please lose the attitude that you don’t like the idea of punishing me – I’m far from perfect and could only benefit from some correction once in a while, and you are the one I am entrusting with that privilege. Lots of men would kill for that chance, you know. So I’m leaving the ball in your court. If you don’t want this, just let it lie and I won’t bring it up again (probably). I certainly can’t force you to do anything you are not interested in.

Love you!

I left the letter in the place where he always checks the mail when he gets home from work. This was Monday. He took it in the other room and read it while I played dumb and kept quiet. I had decided I wasn't going to say another word and I wasn't going to get upset if nothing came of it - well, I was going to try not to get upset!
So what happened? All I can say is - WOO HOO! I'm not going to let myself get too excited about things yet, but we have made a start. Monday night I went up to make our bed as I had washed all the bedding that day. He came up and stood in the doorway waiting for me to finish. When I was done, he blocked my exit from the room and I found myself bent over the foot of the bed! Started with his hand on the seat of my pants. Then the pants were peeled down and I got more on the panties. Then the panties were gone and he continued on my bare butt. After warming it up quite nicely, he switched to the leather paddle. He spanked until it was quite hot and stingy back there, but not to where any of my limits were. That's ok - I don't expect that in the beginning. When he let me up, I hugged him and said thank you. I didn't want to say too much more, but on the way down the stairs, I couldn't resist throwing a comment of 'Just so you finish what you started!' over my shoulder. I know - once a brat, always a brat.
Tuesday night - me sitting here on the couch - biting my tongue - determined to keep my mouth shut. He left me in suspense thru dinner and a couple of TV shows. Finally, at 9pm, he took my hand and pulled me off the couch. To my surprise, he pushed me across the room until I was standing in front of the small desk with my stack of text books on it that I haven't touched in quite some time. (I'm self studying for a new profession I want to get in to.) From behind me, I hear 'And just how long has it been since you cracked one of those books, young lady? I know for a fact they haven't moved for at least a week!' Color me shocked! Didn't think he had noticed! I had to admit that he was right and I hadn't been doing the reading I should. Next thing I know, he's sitting on the footstool and I'm head down over his knee. Started right out with the paddle - first over sweat pants, then just panties, then on the bare. This time I was starting to get vocal with each swat. I was also getting the lecture throughout the spanking that I had better quit spending so much time on the computer (oops!) and get busy with my books starting tomorrow! Very sore butt by the time he let me get up!
So there you have it. We have made it thru two days of the proposed week long spankings. I'm hoping and praying we make it thru the whole week. After that, who knows? I may have to top from the bottom again and suggest a weekly system, but I'm going to play it by ear (or butt) for now. He really seemed to be getting into it on the second night - saying things like 'That's better!' after landing a particularly good smack with the paddle, keeping me over his knee for a while after he was done spanking, etc. Maybe I'm just full of wishful thinking, but it's all I've got right now. One thing is certain - I'm going to be in a state of nervous anticipation for the rest of the week! But it's a good nervous - I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with tonight. Maybe I won't touch those text books after all...................................

4 comments:

AngelBrat said...

Congratulations, Leigh! It's nice to see you back in the swing of things!

Leigh said...

Thanks Tracy! Glad you found me!

Anonymous said...

Nice Letter! I might use a revised verision of it for my husband...he likes the idea of spanking,but he is rather timid about it...i find myself let down most of the time. i am really happy for you.

Anonymous said...

You will never know how happy this post made me. I too met my husband in a spanking chat room and once we said the I do's, no more spanking. This has been so frustrating to me, and I am glad to know that we are not the only ones. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Great blog. Keep up the good work.